The Ponce Chronicles (Part 1)

January 9-26, 2016.

I have just returned from another dimension. That’s the way it feels, returning to Boston.

I have been in Puerto Rico for the last two and a half weeks with one wife and one daughter, frolicking in the sun and surf. Oops—no, sorry!—that’s what normal people do when they “vacation” in Puerto Rico. We have been engaged in something rather different. We have been “camping” in the beautiful house that Allysen’s parents built decades ago, when her dad was brought here by General Electric to help set up some industrial plants. The house remains Fay’s (Allysen’s mom), though she moved up to be closer to us a couple of years after Allysen’s dad died. The house has been largely empty for a few years, except for some dedicated caretakers and neighbors—and one rather, er, exceptional tenant. The elements have not been kind to the house, and the tenant has left a swath of deconstruction.

We have come to pick up the pieces. What follows is a chronicle of that mission. All characterizations of the tenant, and of the house, are mine and do not necessarily represent the views of the owner (my mother-in-law).

Arrival

We fly to Ponce, Puerto Rico, courtesy of JetBlue. This means we arrive at 4-something in the morning. (All flights between Ponce and Boston are red-eyes, via New York or Orlando. This is one of the charms of traveling to Puerto Rico. Another, an actual charm, is the applause that invariably erupts from the passengers upon safe touchdown. Whether it’s applause for arrival back on the homeland, or for the pilot for getting us down in one piece, I do not know.)

Our plan is to rescue and restore the beautiful Palmer homestead on a hillside above the city, both from the depredations of the tenant and from years of the elements, insufficient maintenance, and some squirrelly electrical work (none of it unsafe!) from Allysen’s dad’s later years, when his once-exacting standards were somewhat in decline.

Members of the mission team: Allysen, Jayce (the-daughter-formerly-known-as-Julia), and Jeff. Mission site: an empty house, devoid of all furnishings except a huge stack that the tenant left behind, and a few essentials provided by kindly friends. Goal: to repair and restore, and make suitable for short-term rental or sale.

As always, we are picked up at Ponce Airport and brought to the house by Freddie, the tireless, fearless, loyal, and there-when-you-need-him moonlighting policeman. We notice at once the broken steps, the defunct lighting, the lack of running water (except precious gallons from the gravity-fed cistern), and the condition of the once-gorgeous pool (now slime green). The place actually looks better than we expected, thanks to Freddie’s hours of work in cleaning and carrying out eight 30-gallon trash-bags full of junk left by the tenant, whom we will call, um… Veronica. It was Veronica who failed to maintain the pool, didn’t report broken steps and decking, and who removed light fixtures from the walls with abandon—oh, and installed an obscenely ugly faux fireplace in the living room where once there had been lovely cabinet doors. When we last saw the house, about three years ago, it needed some work, but nothing like this. It‘s all quite a shock.

The pool as we last saw it, in 2013…

Pool as we saw it in 2013

The pool that greets us now…

Pool in 2016

Another little jolt is the tarantula I spot on the side of the pool, right above the carpet of algae. We discuss what to name it. Edith? Ethel? We settle on Ethel. The next day Ethel is gone, and we don’t see it again.

Tarantula in pool_cu

(Coming up in Part 2, settling in with no running water.)

[To read all of The Ponce Chronicles in order, start here.]

 

Kobobooks Sale! 50% Off!

posted in: books, ebooks, specials 0

Kobo-sale-copy

I just learned about this. It runs through this Sunday, January 31st. Shop for ebooks at Kobobooks and apply a coupon code at checkout for 50% off on all books published through Kobo Writing Life (in other words, all indie-published titles, including backlist books that your favorite author has brought out on her own). This is a great opportunity to stock up.

Here’s the coupon code: JAN1650

Here’s a link to my author page at Kobo.

And here’s a link to the list of all eligible books. (1,412,148 titles!)

 

 

Injured by Cow Bite? Or Sucked into a Jet Engine?

posted in: quirky 0
6-jet-engine
Animation by James Provost, in Science News

What do these two misfortunes have to do with each other, besides being unusual ways to get hurt? They’re among the latest additions to the International Classification of Diseases, 10th revision. In other words, they’re the descriptions of new diagnostic codes for physicians. Since, I guess, they’d be hard to fit into the old codes.

According to Science News, here are some of the odder new codes:

  • V91.35: Hit or struck by falling object due to accident to canoe or kayak
  • V95.40: Unspecified spacecraft accident injuring occupant
  • V97.33: Sucked into jet engine
  • W55.21: Bitten by a cow
  • V91.07: Burn due to water skis on fire

Possibly Science News is making these up—and there are more—but I am not. Where is Dave Barry when you need him?

Starting the New Year with a Book Sale!

posted in: Uncategorized 0

The Rapture Effect by Jeffrey A. CarverWe’re starting a new circuit around the sun, and what better way to launch than with a book sale? I agree. Starting today and for the next five days, the ebook of my novel The Rapture Effect is just $.99 at all the usual places. That’s less than the cost of a candy bar at the movie theater, and will last far longer!

If you’re one of those discerning people who already owns it, please pass the word. And thank you.

Here’s one of my favorite blurbs from another writer:

“A lively dance of ideas—first contact, interstellar war, artificial intelligence, alien culture—and it moves at a rapid pace, from Earth through cyberspace to the Horsehead Nebula, and various points between. It’s well-worth the trip ticket.” —Roger Zelazny, author of Lord of Light

Merry Full Moon Christmas!

Full moon Christmas Beirut

This is a photo of last night’s full moon, shining through the star atop a Christmas tree in Beirut (from AP, via NPR). This is the first full moon on Christmas since 1977, and the last until 2034! Our skies are cloudy here in Boston, but I hope you get to enjoy it!

Wishing everyone a very happy Christmas! To those who don’t celebrate Christmas, blessings on your day!

Oh, and Happy Birthday, Jesus! Many happy returns!

 

SpaceX Lands a Rocket the Way God Intended!

SpaceX_launch-landing

Straight down, on a tail of fire, that’s how. Anyone who’s read science fiction of the 1950s (Tom Corbett: Space Cadet being a particularly fine example), or seen Destination Moon—or, come to think of it, watched any Apollo landing on the Moon, knows that.

After several attempts, and several failures, SpaceX succeeded with a nighttime launch on December 21, hurling a satellite into orbit, and sending the first stage back to make a soft landing at Starbase Canaveral. It’s not just for show, though the sight was a beautiful one. The purpose is to bring down the cost of space travel by making it possible to reuse these rockets, instead of letting them burn up in the atmosphere or slam down in the ocean.

This is a remarkable achievement for SpaceX, and another step toward more affordable space travel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqcPqJfuzG4

Great photos at theverge.com

SpaceX_landing2

and a comparison of this achievement with the recent landing of the New Shepherd rocket from Blue Origin. (Hint: New Shepherd was an outstanding achievement, but this one went higher, faster, harder—and launched an actual satellite in the bargain.)

 

Finding the Christmas Spirit

Like many people I know, I’ve been finding it hard to believe that Christmas is almost upon us. It just doesn’t feel like it; maybe it’s the unseasonably warm weather, or maybe it’s the feeling that we’re whirling round and round the sun faster every year.

See if this helps. It’s the U.S. Air Force Band, making a flashmob appearance at the Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museum last year. Enjoy.

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