SHOCKING: I Married a Neanderthal!

posted in: family 0

For real. Allysen’s DNA was tested by 23andMe, and the results are in, and my universe is shaking! My wife is 3% Neanderthal! She has 298 Neanderthal variants, which is more than 83% of 23andMe customers. I’m not sure what that means, but I’m sure it must be impressive.

What does this mean for me? Have all my efforts to civilize my children been in vain? They must be part Neanderthal, too. Or maybe this: Is the world actually being run by Neanderthals? There’s a sobering thought. Just think about Washington, and you know it could be true.

On the other hand, my knowledgeable Neanderthalian wife informs me that the Neanderthals were on the whole a kinder, gentler species than homo sap. So maybe the Washington argument is wrong, after all.

Whatever the case, now I know that it was not for nothing that years ago Allysen acquired the nickname Thagga. (Although I acquired the nickname of Thag, so what does that suggest about me? I haven’t been tested, but maybe I have some Cro-Magnon in me. That could explain a lot.)

(One of these pix is my wife. The other is a pic from the Museo Arqueologico Nacional in Madrid. See the family resemblance?)

[My name is Allysen. I have approved this post.]

 

 

 

The Modern Yuppie 12 Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
A vacation to Switzerland to ski!

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Two Toyota Priuses…
And a vacation to Switzerland to ski!

tum de-tum de-tum…

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Twelve Ivy League acceptance letters…
Eleven carbon offsets…
Ten Canada Goose jackets…
Nine yachts with paneling…
Eight NPR memberships…
Seven Revels tickets…
Six Goorin Brothers hats…
FIVE ROTH IRAs!…
Four laundry services…
Three Whole Foods gift bags…
Two Toyota Priuses…
And a vacation to Switzerland to ski!

(Courtesy of my daughter Lexi and her husband Connor, who devised it one morning while trying to get out of bed.)

© Lexi Carver and Connor Wood

Hanging with the Bro

posted in: family, personal news 2

I’ve been pretty quiet the last couple of weeks. That’s because I’ve been in Miami helping out my brother Chuck and his wife, following his recent surgery for cancer. It’s been a rocky recovery; he was in the hospital for a week longer than expected. Now he’s home, recuperating, with the additional help of Tntn (pictured) and Tntn’s brother Jahnghan. I hope he’ll be well enough for me to go home in a few days.

I‘ve been getting a lot of work done, anyway—working on the final editing of Reefs, with feedback from my editor. (More on that in a forthcoming post.)

Here’s a picture of Chuck, a month ago, receiving the American Psychological Association’s Distinguished Scientific Contribution Award.

 

B-52s! Culture Club! Live and LOUD!

We saw the B52s, Culture Club, and the Thompson Twins live in concert at the Wang Center in Boston last Friday night. (It was an early birthday gift from Lexi and Connor, who went with us.) It was great! Especially if you didn’t need to make out any of the song lyrics, or use your ears for anything for the rest of the night! Here, reproduced with surprising fidelity by my LG phone, is a brief (fair-use for review purposes only!) clip of the B52s climaxing their set with the song I introduced Lexi to, back when she was little…

Crank that up way past 11 on the biggest speakers you’ve got, and you’ll have a pretty accurate reproduction of the sound.

Between sets, I caught a candid of a couple of hardly-aging boomers checking out the action.

The final set was by headliner Boy George and Culture Club, and they were good, too—except their set featured laser-bright spotlights at the back of the stage, aimed straight into the retinas of the audience. So it was best if you weren’t planning to use your night vision for the rest of the weekend. Culture Club withheld the song we most wanted to hear until the third and final encore. Here, then, is a brief clip of Karma Chameleon, in High Fidelity…

I’m a little surprised to hear that the sound is actually clearer in these videos than it was going into my ears in the theater, past the foam earplugs that Lexi ran out and got us all. I think my ears just went into total overload from the jetwash blast of sound. Seriously, I wonder why the sound engineers think we’ll enjoy the music more if it’s too loud to hear. I think there’s a market out there for noise-reduction headgear that lets the sound through undistorted, but at a lower volume. My Bose ANR earbuds (which I didn’t think to bring) probably would have melted.

All that said, we had a great time reliving our youth with some actual youths!

 

Father-Daughter Dance!

Veteran videographer Allysen took this video on short notice. (I shoved my cellphone into her hand as the music started and said, “Shoot this video!”)


For a guy with two left feet, I thought I did pretty okay. Lexi was radiant and beautiful, so no one was watching me, anyway! (Big thanks to our friend Johanna, who gave me emergency dance lessons.)

 

Lexi and Connor Are Married!

I just got to be Father of the Bride as our daughter Lexi married Connor! Allysen and I could not be happier. I walked Alexandra down the aisle to the lush strains of “Princess Leia’s Theme” from Star Wars, by John Williams—played on the piano by Lexi’s friend Jon. At the end of the beautiful Anglican service, they strode out to the main Star Wars anthem*, with Jon on piano and her lifelong friend Brian on trumpet. In the middle, we had some excellent hymns, coincidentally including my personal favorite, All Creatures of Our God and King, by a composer who I feel would have understood science fiction if it had been around in his time.

These pix came from various friends; we still look forward to the official ones. More to come soon. This is Lexi and Connor at the altar, Lexi’s sister Jayce looking on as Maid of Honor.

A snapshot of the father-daughter dance:

And the weary but happy parents catch a dance for themselves, at the very end of the celebration:

*Those familiar with Allysen and my wedding, not quite thirty-two years ago, might remember that our recessional music was the Star Wars theme, from the soundtrack recording. It’s great to see my daughter carrying the banner.

Major Award!

Charles S. Carver

My bro has done it again. Charles S. Carver by name, and professor/research psychologist by trade, he’s earned another major award in his field—the American Psychological Association’s “Distinguished Scientific Contribution Award.” This award honors psychologists who have made prominent theoretical or empirical contributions to basic research in psychology. It’s regarded as one of the highest awards in the science of psychology.

That’s my brother Chuck they’re talking about. The guy who once ran around the Brown University football field in a mascot bear suit. (I subbed for him once, and got my head stolen for my troubles.) The guy who made it to the Ohio state finals in high school wrestling. The guy who’s been waging war against cancer for a year and a half, and holding his own.

The award also honors his colleague Michael Scheier at Carnegie Mellon University, who has worked with Chuck for over 45 years in the areas of personality, social, health, and motivational psychology. You can read more about it here.

They’ll be recognized at the APA convention this coming August.

Countdown!


The countdown seems to be speeding up as we race toward the day when our daughter Lexi ties the knot with a very fine gentleman named Connor. (Did I mention that our daughter is getting married? She is!) The date is June 23, and it’s coming fast. Lexi and Connor seem to have matters well under control (unlike her parents, who basically were setting their hair on fire before their own wedding, centuries ago), but I’m not sure the same can be said of the father of the bride. I still have to buy a new suit (What? I have to wear a suit?), and I have to learn enough dance steps to carry off my role at the reception. There are probably other things, too, but that’s enough right there to give me brain freeze.

All that said, we couldn’t be happier for her, and for Connor. Woo-hoo!

 

The Bumpy Road of Rehab

Allysen’s mom came home from the rehab center not quite a week ago (following a broken hip), which caught us off guard due to poor communication from the rehab center. We did not expect The System to spit her out quite that soon. It’s been an absolute maelstrom of activity, finding out what we need to know about equipping the apartment, acquiring the equipment, setting up 24-hour care, learning a million things we never needed or wanted to know before. Early on, Allysen hired a care manager, without whose help I don’t think we would have survived the transition. But we’re getting there. Here’s a picture of her with Allysen and Jayce.

Meanwhile, Captain Jack smolders about being confined to a single room at a time, and wearing the Healing Hat, a.k.a. Helmet of Courage. (We do not call it [Cone of Shame] in this house!) Drugs are wonderful, when they work. But other times, the border collie spirit sneers at sedatives. Drugs? We don’t need no steenking drugs!

Moonlight has had to learn some navigational tricks, getting around the newly barricaded apartment. She’s almost twenty, and she can’t really vault over child gates anymore. Here she is, checking out the Bridge to the Future that I built for her at one checkpoint.

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