By Saturn’s Hexagon!

At last—a new oath for space opera heroes! And a really cool feature on Saturn’s north pole—an enormous hexagonal feature, viewable in the infrared, that rotates along with the planet’s rotation. Check out the Saturn hexagon at JPL’s web site, including motion picture images from the Cassini spacecraft. (Thanks, Charlza, for the link.)

There are the usual typical scientific attempts by scientists to explain the phenomenon (atmospheric vortexes, dynamical patterns, blah-blah-blah). Nobody even mentions the most obvious explanation:

It’s a giant hex-wrench socket left by aliens! They’re storing the brains of abductees in the center of Saturn!

My God, what else might they be doing???

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0 Responses

  1. substandardTim
    | Reply

    In response to mass hysteria in Washington over the idea that the Ruskies might nuke us, top officials at the Pentagon decided it would be prudent to construct a second Pentagon off planet. Thus, the Saturn Pentagon was built unbeknownst to the rest of the world and certainly not the tax payers.

  2. Jeffrey A. Carver
    | Reply

    You’re saying the Pentagon is full of aliens? I knew it!

    And…because the second Pentagon was built on a larger planet, it got an extra side. Or no, no, I think it’s just because they needed it to fit a standard XXXXL hex wrench.

  3. Christian
    | Reply

    It is definitely an adjustment button. Turn it clockwise to accelerate the planet, turn it counterclockwise to slow it down. That way the solar system can be fine tuned in order to obtain maximum stability. And of cource the button has been left there to make later readjustments possible. Perhaps it can also be used to shut down the solar system when it’s no longer needed…

  4. Jeffrey A. Carver
    | Reply

    Hm. You could be on to something. But how can we test it? Get the Canadians to build a really big remote arm for the next Saturn probe, and put a wrench on the end of it?

    But where do you stand to get the leverage you need?

  5. Christian
    | Reply

    Well, if I am on to something, would we really want to test it? I mean, what would happen, if we got it wrong? Sorry folks, we just messed up the planetary orbits. Say goodbye to friends and family…

    And just as interesting – who put the device there in the first place? And can we borrow their wrench? I doubt that the Canadians (or anybody else) will be able to construct a wrench large enough to contain four Earths before the next Saturn probe is launched.

    And where can you stand to gain the needed leverage? Nowhere! The solution that springs to mind is to apply thrust at the end of the wrench arm (or arms), by attaching some kind of rocket or other propulsion engine. A well geared and well balanced button combined with one or more long arms should reduce the needed energy to a manageable size.

    Perhaps we don’t need the wrench at all. Attaching a rocket to each corner of the hexagon and making them pull around in a circle may do the trick.

  6. Jeffrey A. Carver
    | Reply

    I thought of using rockets, of course. But it just doesn’t feel right to me. I really want a lever and a place to stand, so that I can move that world (or turn its hex screw, anyway). To paraphrase the ancients.

    But borrowing the aliens’ wrench probably makes more sense than putting it on the Canadians or NASA.

  7. tsmacro
    | Reply

    The answer to where you would stand to get leverage: The driveway. “Huh” you say? Well how about this, when God opens up the hood of his/her creation and takes a look inside to perform some maintenance (s)he has to be standing somewhere, and his/her driveway seems as good a place as any. That would also tell you who you’d need to ask to borrow a hex wrench from. I’m not sure if we’re ready for that responsibility yet though, maybe if we’re lucky (s)he’ll let us watch while (s)he makes the necessary adjustments. *S*

  8. Kitty
    | Reply

    Maybe Saturn’s Hexagon can be the title for your next book after you finish the Chaos Chronicles? It sounds like a cool title.

  9. Mxyzptlk
    | Reply

    “Fear” is the driving force behind the mockery, which fills your blog, by the initial respondents. Seeking to understand with an open mind — is the key to the enlightenment and courage required to accepting the truth.

    In a universe that can best be defined by circular geometric patterns (i.e solar systems and planets, hurricanes and tornadoes, wheels and machine gears, molecules and atoms), I am sure that this hexagonal geometric figure formed by “mother nature” on Saturn and subject to the same gravitational laws that exist in the rest of the universe — WILL throw a “monkey wrench” in the spokes of our intellectual thinking machine and chalenge the scientific and spiritual paradigms through which we currently pass judgement.
    Mxyzptlk to “Sticks & Stones”

  10. tsmacro
    | Reply


  11. Mxyzptlk
    | Reply

    tsmacro…..not surprise that you were the first to respond. You truly DO believe that God has a sexual orientation (i.e. he/she), and the world is flat — as you venture through life armed with “sticks and stones” to solve your problems. You must have the courage to think outside of yourself and surroundings, re-evaluate the paradigms that currently guide your crude existence and think with an open mind. Therefore, “huh” is a very appropriate response for you at this point in your development, here on earth.

  12. Jeffrey A. Carver
    | Reply


  13. tsmacro
    | Reply

    Wow, ok because I have the audacity to bring up “god” and the fact that I don’t know whether said god is male, female or otherwise (hence he/she) I have a crude existance on a flat earth whose paradigms need to beaten down w/ sticks and stones by someone w/ courage? Did I get that right? Please enlighten me oh wise one! And while you’re explaining all that I don’t understand please make clear to me the nature of god since you seem to have a handle on that also, i’d really appreciate all the help you can give someone at this point of my development.

    Ok but seriously you might just wan’t to take a deep breath and chill out a bit. Obviously you missed the part where we were all having fun making wild suggestions as to what the hexagon could be. you really didn’t take the suggestions of aliens, the US government or gods personal tool chest seriously did ya? It was all in fun and up until you arrived i’d say we were all enjoying it. So while i’m all for thinking outside of the box i’d also suggest exercising your sense of fun and humor from time to time!

  14. Jeffrey A. Carver
    | Reply

    Hoo boy. It was my impression that Mxyzptlk was writing with tongue firmly in cheek. But I wasn’t sure. I’m still not sure.


  15. tsmacro
    | Reply

    Entirely possible Jeff but based on his post he gave me an obvious role to play. So I figure i’d just run with it and use some good old-fashioned mock outrage and sarcasm and have some fun with it. 😉

  16. Mxyzptlk
    | Reply

    Very good — tsmacro! Your good old fashion self mockery and sarcasm are the first steps to self enlightenment. I shall now respond to your questions:
    1) Good news — you humans do NOT have a crude existence on planet earth, rather (“ya’ll”) are in a crude developmental stage; emotionally and intellectually.
    2) I was not refering to god, rather to God. To understand the very nature of God – you simply need to focus on the unlimited potential and capability for each and everyone on earth to move the collective towards that one common goal of enlightenment. God has given you the tool(s) — and yes, the hexagon on Saturn is one of them! How will you interpret and use that hexagon, tsmacro?
    3) Finally, I am not “oh wise one”. I am a messenger, a catalyst with a sense of humour — hence the pseudo-name “Mxyzptlk”; a name from your own comic books.

    Very good Jeffrey, my tongue WAS firmly planted in cheek in thought provoking humour — that is of course if I did have a tongue!
    Thank you for asking me to respond — one last time.

  17. tsmacro
    | Reply

    there’s hope! =;)

  18. fatacy
    | Reply


    Could you compare to this logic,

    icosahedron is pressured by maganetic force and hexagon revieled.

    See you

  19. Jeffrey A. Carver
    | Reply

    [scratching head]

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